12/25/2023 0 Comments Spy cam nudeBut everything from cancer to a car accident to infidelity could strike us at any moment. Stoya: I think life is chaos, and we like to tell ourselves comforting stories about things lasting forever, if only we don’t take this risk or only we don’t take that risk. You might have good sex with somebody, but if there’s no conversation after it, where is the emotional connection actually building? I don’t think that that’s a huge risk here. The thing that really jumps out to me is that the risk of developing an emotional connection in a sex club is pretty low-especially in a gang bang scenario, which is what’s happening. Send me updates about Slate special offers. I want her to be happy and sexually satisfied, but I also can’t “share” my wife or relationship with anyone. We’ve talked about this and she thinks she can control it. Finally, I’m honestly a tad worried that-given her sex drive and deep need for this stimulation-she’ll become sort of “addicted” (does that happen?) and won’t be able to reign in it, and that it could go beyond the occasional party. She says she loves the idea of multiple men having their way with her at the same time, but she’ll be perfectly willing to skip it. She’s been quite open that she has no desire to do this if it will even slightly damage our relationship. I’m reasonably sure I can control the jealousy as long as this is purely about her satiating unmet desires, but an emotional connection with another man would destroy us. My head is swirling with an odd mixture of sexual excitement, fear, and jealousy. So here’s my basic question: Am I nuts to acquiesce/actively enable my wife to have sex with multiple men in front of me? How do we navigate the inherent emotional risks? She wants me to “offer” her to multiple men and sort of act like a gatekeeper while also participating in the sex with her. For what it’s worth, she wants me to actively assist during said multiple-person sex. And honestly, I feel more secure that she’s NOT comfortable with me having sex with other women-we very much treasure the feeling that we’re only for each other. As I said, I already feel like I’m married to my walking fantasy, so I don’t feel like I’m missing much. While that probably seems selfish, it’s actually fine with me. So Pam’s first ironclad rule for the party is that I can’t physically interact with any of the women there. Pam is very excited and also intimidated. the party is focused on HER, not her partner or the single men that happen to be there. After confirming that indeed these desires were real and that she would consider acting on them in the right setting, I did a bunch of research and found a local sex club that hosts special parties geared toward women satisfying their various desires, i.e. However, in the course of verbally exploring fantasies during lovemaking, it became pretty apparent to me that Pam has some pretty deep desires to have sex with multiple men at once, ideally in a somewhat public setting. She satiates every fantasy I’ve ever had. Pam has an extremely strong sex drive and is game for virtually anything I can dream up. Neither of us has ever had sex outside of our marriages while we were married, though we have had other partners. We feel very fortunate to have met a partner that we feel is a true match for each other. My wife “Pam” (54, F) and I (55, M) have been very happily married for a year after amicably leaving 25-year marriages. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here. How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Every week, Rich and Stoya answer a special question they could only tackle together, just for Slate Plus members.
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